Show Me You’re Vulnerable, Show Me You’re Strong.

aerosmith don't want to miss a thing.

Your man would proudly die for you, if you needed it.

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile you’re sleeping, while you’re far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender, I could stay lost in this moment forever, every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.

Those simple words, those immortal lyrics from Aerosmith. The greatest love song ever. The love song that makes even the most disconnected man cry. Even typing the words brings a tear to my eye.

I would become a teenager again, just to make a mix tape for my girl with that song on it.

Any man who doesn’t cry to ‘Don’t want to miss a thing’ simply hasn’t heard the lyrics. If your man doesn’t cry to this song, print out the lyrics and show them to him. Show them to him and play the song for him, from YouTube if you don’t have it.

Greatest Love Song for a Man Ever!

It is everything we don’t know how to say to you. It is everything we work for. It is everything that scares us. Of the 3 Billion women on the planet, it is you that makes our hearts rejoice. It is for you that we would work in careers we no longer enjoy. It is for you that we would separate ourselves from our family and friends, just to see your smile.

We would start wars for you. We would die for you if we needed to. We would even spend the little time we have between our commitments to watch one of those ridiculous romantic comedies with you just to be closer to you.

We would stand and fight at the gates of Hell and lift you to the Heavens all at the same time if you needed us to. We want to show you our strengths, we’re afraid to show you our weaknesses. We want you to be the only person we’ll ever need.

But you don’t seem to need us anymore.

You have your own career, of which we’re very proud. You seem to have more success managing the household budget than many of us. You have an intuitive relationship with our children which we’re completely envious of and you know everything that’s happening in both of our families and who needs what.

You have your own strengths and somewhere along the way, you lost all your weaknesses. You lost the vulnerabilities that gave us our meaning. We are so immensely proud that you call us your men but our only purpose seems to be to go to work for another man. To spend our lives separated from you, only to retire and find that you no longer have a need for us.

The over 55’s are the fastest growing demographic heading for the divorce courts.

What is to become of me? Is this my fate? Am I to spend my life separated from the one person who gives me meaning? When will I finally have time to be with her?

Will we even recognise each other when we get there?

Stop showing us how strong you are, show us you’re still vulnerable. Show us there are things we can do that you can’t. Show us you still need us to come home to you.

Give me a reason to live.

9 thoughts on “Show Me You’re Vulnerable, Show Me You’re Strong.

    1. rodneybukuya Post author

      I agree, I’ve always been a door opener. I find it harder to rememebr these days when we’re bundling the twins into the door and my head is full of all the other things that are bothering me but when I do remember, I get the look. The one that says, thank you for being my man, thank you for remembering that I am more than a mum, Thank you for remembering me.


  1. Veronica (Roni)

    Your writing is beautiful, & your thinking is to be absolutely commended…thankyou as always. The songs lyrics are poetry, but sshheesshh, a bit soppy, a bit limp to actually live by.
    I agree with the other ladies…we CAN be the best at being whoever we want to be, & love that freedom. We would defend that honour with an undeniable is as essential as the air we breathe.
    So can you guys…we are all just human beings on this planet for a short stint, we are having a go!
    But we cannot replace the arms of our man…that’s our safe place. Our reason for being, for doing all things. Our haven to recuperate from, our well to draw strength from. We love to bring our warmth to this place, & we thrive on the fact that we matter, on the difference we make to our special man.
    There IS no replacing that big strong chest, nor would we ever want there to be.
    Be a man, love your little woman, & stand up & be yourself…that is so attractive! That is So liberating…
    (I want to scream “can’t you see?” to all you doubting dudes out there.)
    Give me the brave heart, the modern-day hunter-gatherer any day,…”head for your true north & leave your mark.” Truly, male or female.


    1. rodneybukuya Post author

      Roni, thank you so much for this heartfelt response.

      I know that most men enjoy it when their women sleep in their arms or with their head on our chests. It makes us feel wanted.I also know that the simple acting of spooning my wife as we sleep helps settle her heart if she’s had a particuarly troubling die or she’s worrying about something.

      I’ve even seen the reverse of this. A discussion between friends once about intimacy and sex got a bit heated when one of the ladies present stated outright that she hates spooning and that it’s derogatory towards women as, to her mind, the act of a man wrapping his arms around her suggested that he thought she was weak and needed his support to survive. Knowing our mate like we did, of course we jumped to his defence and tried to convince her of it’s empowering ability. To no avail unfortunately.

      That relationship ended soon after and I don’t know what happened to the young lady in question but I sincerely hope that went on to find a man that could love her enough to help her get over her fears.

      I love my woman, I love her strengths and I revel in her vulnerabilities, they allow me the opportunity to flex my masculine self and step in to be the man she needs.


      1. Veronica (Roni)

        Oohhh how gorgeous…that’s what we want. Step up, revel in each other, warts & all. It’s so,so precious to have that someone special to be vulnerable with, (I miss that enormously.) As for spooning…thank God that girl has gone! I have found it works miracles for both sexes, all ages & for a plethora of reasons. It gives us all the quiet re-grouping from our stretched & varied roles. Our belief restored, we go forth & conquer our world. It’s essential….


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