You don’t have to be familiar with the work of Mark Gungor, to know that mens brains and womens brains are very different. You’ll know that just by walking around on the same planet for more than a day.
If you have seen any of Marks Videos you’ll know that while everything in a womans brain is connected and anchored in place by emotion. Mens brains are very different. Mark explains that mens brains have a system of boxes. And in each of these boxes we keep all the issues that relate to our lives.
We have separate boxes for everything, We have a box:
- For you
- For the kids
- For our careers
- For our dreams
- We even have a separate box for your mother. Sometimes we’d like if that one was a padded cell but so long as she stays out of the way, we’re ok.
Of all the boxes we have in our life, the most important to us men is a nice little safe space we all escape to called the nothing box. It’s where we go to hide and think. There’s nothing in there. It’s where we are when you ask what we’re thinking about and we answer with “Nothing”!
One of the problems with our nothing box in my opinion is that it can become a double edged sword. While we need nothing space to help us understand the issues and events that consume our lives, we tend to fill nothing time with actual stuff that distracts us.
For instance, many men can spend their entire weekend watching and getting consumed by sport on payTV or playing video games. This they say is their escape but it’s not. These are focused activities that require some level of neural activity and concentration.
My theory is that sometimes you let us get away with this behavior because it allows you to go and spend time with your family or friends without the trouble of dragging us along. Afterall we’re probably going to whinge about it anyway. At least until the food arrives.
But you do neither of us any favours by allowing/supporting this behavior. The list of things that could wrong is almost endless. Our relationships fail, our dreams die, our passions get lost in the noise that is the relentless marketing machine and worst of all we wind up in an early grave, a shallow, empty soul of a man compared to the one we could have been.
It’s not your job to make us live our lives but you’d be doing us a massive favour by kicking our butts out the door occasionally. Throw a hissy fit and makes us take you out to do something that will feed both of us. Take us bushwalking, make us take you on a round of golf if that’s what your man is into. Make us take you to the park for a picnic and leave your phones at home.
Walk up to the X-Box and pull it out of the wall if you have to. Show us that you’re not going to let us sit around and wallow. Drag our hungover butts to the beach at 6am on a Sunday morning and make us walk with you. Even if you have to drive.
It’s not your job to make us live our lives but you’ll end up with a happier man and that is something you both deserve.