Have you ever hit a really significant goal and almost immediately felt a sense of loss. Like some thing was missing and yet you couldn’t put your finger on what it was. It might have been a career goal, a fitness target or even a level of wealth you wanted to attain by a certain period in your life.
The chances are that the goal itself was not important but rather that you had a void in your soul that needed to be filled and your logical left brain thought up a target that upon it’s achievement would make you whole. But it didn’t, did it?
And so begins the hungrier, than ever chase for bigger and bigger targets, always seeking, always chasing that one goal that will mean we’ve finally arrived. The goal that will allow us to stand up and proudly say, even to ourselves, “Hey, I’m a somebody””I deserve to be here”.
What if we didn’t set goals and targets? What if we took a step back and watched our children for a while? What if we followed their example and just lived for this moment right here?
Do you know why children are happier than adults? It has absolutely nothing to do with mortgages or debts or who has the biggest house in your family. It is simply that children have not yet learned to worry about the past or the future. They are too busy living for now, this moment right here. They have forgotten about the scolding they got at the breakfast table this morning. They are not thinking about whether they’re going to like what is offered for dinner tonight. They’ll deal with that when it gets here.
For now, they’re just busy wondering why the sky is blue and that cloud looks like a rabbit, and wow that sun feels warm on my face. Or they might be inside pretending to make cakes with their play dough or watching their favourite tv show. Whatever it is they’re doing right now, they’re focussed on that and only that.
That right there is a lesson for all of us.
If you don’t believe that a life without goals has merit then try this excercise that was taught to me by Amir Zoghi at his Intuitive Warrior Event last weekend.
Close your eyes and think about a goal that’s incredibly important to you. Once you’ve got the image of that goal in your mind, complete in as much detail as you can. Think about what it would feel like if you didn’t have to chase that goal any more. Not that the goal doesn’t have value but that you no longer feel an emotional need to achieve it.
One of two things will happen. You’ll either feel as though a great burden has been lifted from your shoulders which then makes it easier to live your life or you’ll feel heavier which means a part of your identity was wrapped up in that goal.
Removing goals from your life is the very opposite to what most of todays coaches tell us and I found a wonderful place of peace in Amir’s simple message. I got something from Amir that I thought had been lost to me forever. Today.